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From
the January, 2003 edition of The Doulos monthly
newsletter
by
Bryan Harris
My parents told me many things as I was growing up, most of which I don't remember. (Except that part about going in one ear and out the other. And I only remember that because I heard it every day of my life.)
I guess as a kid you just don’t remember much of what you are told. Parents tell you things, teachers tell you things, and seems like there is always an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or neighbor trying to tell you something else. That’s probably why I didn’t remember much of what was told to me about Bible stories and the lessons behind them. They went in one ear and out the other with all that other stuff.
What I do remember from my childhood, though, is what I saw.
I saw my parents always willing to help a person in need. They helped with a ride, or a repair, an appliance or household item.
They also had a knack for making people feel comfortable in their home. Seems like Mom always had a house full of kids. Neighbors and friends dropped in all the time, just to talk. We didn’t have a large house, but everyone was more than happy to gather around the small table in the kitchen. And whether you were a kid or an adult, my parents always had time to listen.
Their compassion also extended outside the home. I must have been about 12 when my grandfather passed away. I still remember the funeral home. My grandfather lived in a very small town in southern Ohio. People came from all over and the small room at the funeral home was packed.
As I was standing in that room next to my mother, a man hunched over in a well-worn dark overcoat shuffled through the door and stopped. He looked very out of place and his face showed that he realized it. Among all the mourners, dressed in their Sunday finest, he definitely stood out. His hair was uncombed, his face unshaven. Even as a kid, I wondered if he was really there to see my grandpa or if he had just come in to get out of the weather.
He took about two steps into the room and stopped. As he looked around the room, he gave you that feeling that he was about ready to turn and leave. I saw many of the people in the room look at him and then resume their conversations without acknowledging his presence.
Without saying a word, my mother walked across the room and up to the man. I didn’t hear all of the conversation, but when she asked him if he knew my grandfather, the man answered with an emphatic yes and proceeded to tell my mother the details. He said, almost apologetically, that he wouldn’t stay long, but just wanted to pay his respects.
Without missing a beat, my mother offered to walk with the man up to the casket. As they walked, she continued to converse with him like they were old friends. I remember seeing her treat that disheveled old man just as she had treated friends in our kitchen, including thanking him for coming, saying that my grandfather would be pleased. Her example of compassion that day made more of an impact than anything I could have been told.
Our children need good examples more than ever. They may not listen to everything we say, but we should know that they are watching everything we do. Research has shown the parental mantra of “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work well, if at all. And this doesn’t just go for parents, our young people watch us all. They notice how we treat people, how we respect authority, and how we react in difficult situations.
Having Christ in our lives means doing, not just talking, that good example. Challenge yourself to live your faith in Christ daily. St. Francis of Assisi is quoted as saying, “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” It is through our actions that we show our true faith. Our children will notice. They will learn from our example… either way.
In
Christ,
Bryan
Harris
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